So Valentines day is coming up, or past depending on when you read this. It's another holiday people either love or hate. I personally like it. Grant it, it celebrates an idea that we should practice every day. Most holidays are like that, they celebrate something we should be doing all the time. We should give thanks everyday instead of Thanksgiving, thank our moms on Mothers day, thank our fathers on Fathers day, and dress up and beg strangers for candy on Halloween.....OK, maybe not the last one. I personally like Valentines day for what it is. I like the idea of celebrating the idea of love and what love is and what love should be. What can I say, I'm a hopeless romantic. Well, I'm at least hopeless, so I'm halfway there .I've never had that person to celebrate it with, and I'm pretty sure I'll never will, so be it.
What I find funny is how many people say that they hate the holiday. Men hate the idea of spending money on a Hallmark holiday for little return. That does make sense. Think about it. men buy candy, cards, flowers, dinner, movie and jewelry for their significant other and in return, they hope for sex. That idea is funny because it kind of glorifies the idea that men like sex and women like the gifts. I've always heard that women like sex, but if women like sex, why do they make men jump through hoops to get it? Women get everything and all men get is the sex. Doesn't seem like a good return on investment to me. It's a woman's holiday, we can we do. Maybe it's the idea of making their S/O happy. Perhaps, but again, why spend the money for something you can get for little or no money. Perhaps men need their own holiday that make women go out of their way to make their men happy. There is sort of one now, but something official that can be written on a calendar or cards can be made celebrating it.
We dread this holiday, but couples still go through with it. Why? Most people hate it but still go through with it. I think people do it because, beyond all that we say and think, we still like Love. We love showing the world that we don't care about some ideas, but we do it because we like doing nice things to each other and that smile on the person we love. We love the hug and the kiss. We love that look in the person we love knowing that the person we're looking at feels the way we feel about them. We love that moment of being with someone you love and ignoring the rest of the world. It's not the end result of love making, it's the path of love in general.
I look at couple that are in love and to me, it's cool. That connection between two people and I wish I had that. I also look at people who lost love and remind them that they have had it, and it's better than not ever having it. Then I look at my mom. She lost the one love of her life and I can never understand the heart break of losing that person. To me, love is fantastic. We all want it, we will do anything for it, some treasure it, some waste it. You can't buy it, but we spend money for those words "I Love You". We jump though hoops for that moment. People should cherish it more, because there are some who don't have now, had it and lost it, and those who have never had it.
Then again, what do I know? I'm a moron.....and I'm single, ladies.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Gender roles?!?
As many of my friends know, I tend to look at the world differently from others. I don't see what people want me to see. I tend to ask questions more than other and I like to stoke the fire because sometimes it need to be built more. I have had arguments with people just to make people look at their situation from a different perspective. I lose more than I win, but at least I get my point across and I tend to learn from that.
This week I have had conversation with people in regards to gender roles and idea of what men and women should do. Now, before I start, let me set the groundwork on myself. I've never had a relationship before, so my viewpoint is from someone who hasn't been with a woman before. I don't understand this notion of "Because it's a man's job". I am assuming that since it involves a certain amount of labor, it's a mans job. I don't understand that. If a woman is strong enough to do the job and she wants to do it, let her. Also, some jobs are "a women's job". I guess it's because they involve household duties and the like. Again, if a man wants to do it, let him. If we stick to the ideas of "A man's job and a woman's job", we force ourselves to make those obligated to do a job that some else can do. "I don't want to watch the kids, you're the woman you do it!"...."You mow the yard, it's too hard for me". I've seen women mow the yard and men cook, that isn't a bad thing. We shouldn't force others to do a job because it's geared towards a gender. Also, if we force someone to do the job of their sex, we force ourselves to do a job because of our gender. "If I fix your pipes, will you make me food"?....."If I fix your car, will you give me some?". That idea is antiquated (at least in my 3 cent brain), and kind of dumb.
In the same arena as jobs, we have this notion that we can't hit women. The idea behind it is that women are weaker than men. There is some truth to that notion, but I don't think that it's the main issue. I believe that this notion of not hitting women is less about strength and more about bullying. People larger than other who hit other smaller are viewed as bullies. When a person hits a "weaker" person, it's the first person saying "I can do this because I am stronger than you." If both people were the same gender, we would think of it as bulling, if it opposite gender, it's wrong on a different level. Then we go into the issue of domestic violence. We also hate the man who hits the women, but we are looking at the issue for the wrong perspective. Instead of us looking it as a "Man hitting a women and that's wrong" we should look at it as "A man is viewing his significant other as an object". When a man hit his S/O, he is saying "I can do this because you're not a person, you're my property" That is why he gets away with it. Maybe if we stop looking at it as a "Man hitting a women" and start looking at is as "She's my property" we can help the man more. A man going to jail for hitting a women doesn't help him, getting a man into counseling, we can do more good.
Maybe that is how I see the world. Then again, I'm a moron, what do I know.
This week I have had conversation with people in regards to gender roles and idea of what men and women should do. Now, before I start, let me set the groundwork on myself. I've never had a relationship before, so my viewpoint is from someone who hasn't been with a woman before. I don't understand this notion of "Because it's a man's job". I am assuming that since it involves a certain amount of labor, it's a mans job. I don't understand that. If a woman is strong enough to do the job and she wants to do it, let her. Also, some jobs are "a women's job". I guess it's because they involve household duties and the like. Again, if a man wants to do it, let him. If we stick to the ideas of "A man's job and a woman's job", we force ourselves to make those obligated to do a job that some else can do. "I don't want to watch the kids, you're the woman you do it!"...."You mow the yard, it's too hard for me". I've seen women mow the yard and men cook, that isn't a bad thing. We shouldn't force others to do a job because it's geared towards a gender. Also, if we force someone to do the job of their sex, we force ourselves to do a job because of our gender. "If I fix your pipes, will you make me food"?....."If I fix your car, will you give me some?". That idea is antiquated (at least in my 3 cent brain), and kind of dumb.
In the same arena as jobs, we have this notion that we can't hit women. The idea behind it is that women are weaker than men. There is some truth to that notion, but I don't think that it's the main issue. I believe that this notion of not hitting women is less about strength and more about bullying. People larger than other who hit other smaller are viewed as bullies. When a person hits a "weaker" person, it's the first person saying "I can do this because I am stronger than you." If both people were the same gender, we would think of it as bulling, if it opposite gender, it's wrong on a different level. Then we go into the issue of domestic violence. We also hate the man who hits the women, but we are looking at the issue for the wrong perspective. Instead of us looking it as a "Man hitting a women and that's wrong" we should look at it as "A man is viewing his significant other as an object". When a man hit his S/O, he is saying "I can do this because you're not a person, you're my property" That is why he gets away with it. Maybe if we stop looking at it as a "Man hitting a women" and start looking at is as "She's my property" we can help the man more. A man going to jail for hitting a women doesn't help him, getting a man into counseling, we can do more good.
Maybe that is how I see the world. Then again, I'm a moron, what do I know.
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